The simplest changes yield big results.
Prioritize
To improve your life, you must first identify the areas that need change the most. It’s important to prioritize because we all have a limited amount of willpower. The area of your brain that governs self-control is also in charge of day-to-day tasks, short-term memory, and staying focused—so it’s easy to imagine how that little area can get overworked and begin to shut down. As you take on new tasks, do one thing at a time. Don’t resolve to lose weight, land a new job, and improve your dating life all at the same time. Pick the one that’s in the most dire need of attention and start there.
Taking a step-by-step approach helps ease the pressure on your brain when trying to solve multiple problems, and prevents shutdown (and ultimately failure). The less fatigue your brain has, the more willpower you’ll have saved to devote yourself to completing your tasks, one by one.
Decide Your Fate
Behavioral change psychology includes something called the Theory of Planned Behavior, which says that your “perceived behavioral control” is the only difference between getting things done and constantly wishing you could. Up to 50% of your ability to succeed depends on whether you merely think you have control over a situation. So what makes you feel in control? Simplicity.
When you set goals that are too simple for you to fail at (or at least appear that way), you create the perception that you have power. And with that feeling of control comes better execution, more willpower, and less stress. Want to lose weight? Make your goal no more specific than going to the gym three days a week. Interested in saving money? Set up an automatic transfer of some modest amount from your checking to your savings every two weeks. Steps like these are easy to execute.
Learn from Everything
Changing your life is mostly about changing your mind. If you think positively, nothing discourages you, and any friction you have along the way—be it criticism or failure—is merely a chance to learn how to improve. If, when tasked with a project, you start to predict a negative outcome, the potential fear this creates actually works in your mind to inhibit the process and sabotage the result. Naturally, you fall short of your goals, thereby confirming your initial worries, and the cycle repeats.
Start every project or task by writing down what you hope to learn from the process instead of what achievement you expect. This will short-circuit your fears and help you to see the result—however successful—as a way to develop yourself.
Communicate Effectively
Social media, e-mail, and other technology have damaged our communication skills. As digital communication has increased, the number of real-life friends we have has gone down.
The problem with online communication is a matter of emotion—or the lack thereof. Researchers at George Mason University discovered that because e-communication removes visual cues like eye contact and posture, the nonverbal interactions that create emotions like empathy, it’s more difficult to form trust with another person. Try to schedule at least one in-person, real-life meeting each week. Seeing is connecting,
